Wrong Number...

Do you ever meet those people that are just wrong for you? Not in a bad way like they’ll give you emotional baggage later down the track but like you think they’d have a snowball's chance in hell of getting anywhere near you romantically? Well that was my wrong number. We did not light up the sky together. We didn’t even light a match. There was just…nothing. Every arrow pointed to No. And there were enough of them to be sure.

For instance, I can attest to the fact that you may not find it’s a match made in heaven when he waxes twice as much of himself as you. I think in any relationship where the guy spends way more time on his personal grooming habits than his partner there are bound to be issues.

One must also be wary when someone continually tells you how ‘hot’ they are. Sure, if you find them incredibly attractive then I say feel free to tell them that as much as you want but when they start telling you – begin to worry.

Call me shallow but it’s also a little hard to cultivate a strong attachment to someone who claims they would not even hold hands with a woman in public if she had any hail damage. And that’s 'cellulite' for all those not in the know, which can actually appear on women who are both slim and fit so maybe he really meant he wanted someone sixteen?

Another indicator that you are not meant to be is when you actually can’t contemplate doing any activity anywhere near each other. Even something that doesn’t involve them. For instance, I enjoy a good book and generally hold ‘reading’ as an interest. My wrong number really doesn’t see the point in reading anything without pictures. He’s obviously not the type to read Playboy for the articles.

Our music tastes were also so different it wasn’t funny and we never would have agreed on aesthetics or art. I have a sneaking suspicion that his idea of real pictures is something like chicks on bikes. Although maybe that’s not fair. I think he sees himself as a real classy type of guy so maybe that’s chicks on Porsches.

And last but not least, bringing the first date topic of conversation around to my ability to perform various sexual favours was a sure fire way of ending the evening out one way or another. Unfortunately for him, I don’t believe it was they way he would have preferred.

So I’ve chalked it all up to experience but thought I would share thoughts on my experience with you and hope you’ve experienced nothing like it. To be honest, I think I actually spent most of the evening with my tongue in my cheek. At the end of the day I was more amused than put out really, but I do live in hope that my next dating experience will be a bit more positive.