Losing It

Well it finally happened. After all the initial months of coasting along quite happily, secure in the knowledge that the wedding was going to turn out great because The Boy was handling it, I finally got to the point that apparently a lot of brides reach. Sure, it took me until the day before the wedding and not a whole lot earlier in the process as it does for others but it had to happen sometime right? The time when I completely and utterly dropped my bundle. The time when pent up stress, lack of food and sleep, hours spent driving to and fro and people constantly looking at me to tell them what to do all got the better of me and the only thing I could manage was racking sobs upon The Boy’s shoulder as he tried desperately to hold it together because he really wanted to break down on me too.

Despite the hours of research and planning that had gone into our day, one major thing we seemed to have overlooked was time management in the crunch period. The actual logistics of picking something up in one place and dropping it at another does not seem all that daunting when you are only looking at one thing but once you start to add in several things and operating hours and peak hour and the fact that we live in a sprawling city and not in a small country town, your to-do list takes on the form of a fire breathing dragon and getting close just leaves you burnt out. Or in my case, incinerated. I had been getting close all day becoming progressively more vague and frustrated and by the end I couldn’t focus on anything, especially food. I felt overwhelmed by what was left to accomplish and didn’t know where to start. With time enough that I could still do something as it wasn’t yet too late for me to do anything, I just lost it.

I’m not complaining here though mind you because really, I had it good. The Boy was dealing with high levels of stress since he started planning this whole shindig in earnest and when my family rolled into town at the beginning of the week, I had a small army of people that were absolute troopers. We couldn’t have done everything without them. My sister The Pussycat assisted in the creation of additional artwork for the day even though she was sick as a dog and probably needed to be in bed and everyone else actually organised themselves into a production line whilst putting together the bonbonniere. They all worked when there were tasks to be completed and waited around the house when there wasn’t just in case something else came up. And while all this was going on, The Boy spent the majority of the time sitting down. Driving ALL OVER THE CITY. In one day, he and a mate (who has my eternal gratitude for keeping The Boy sane) covered hundreds of kilometres to make sure that everything would be perfect for the big day. My couple of hours transit time were nothing by comparison.

You know, before the final couple of days leading up to the wedding, I actually had the grandiose idea that on the eve of the wedding, there would be nothing left for us to do. Nothing but enjoying the fantastic view from the hotel room and taking a leisurely meal with both sides of the family. I romantically thought that I would be able to spend that last evening relaxing with my family as an unmarried daughter and get a good nights sleep before the long day ahead. How wrong was I? It was almost 10pm when we left for the hotel, swinging past my work on the way to pick up a binding machine for the programs (thank you boss). It was well after 11 when I finished binding the programs in front of episodes of The Muppet Show (a childhood comfort that was oddly calming). It was after 12am when The Boy finally got the hotel with the flowers and Dad who had been playing musical cars and getting family back to their respective hotel. It was a very long day and one I’m glad I don’t have to repeat.

And yes, The Boy and I did stay in the same place the night before the wedding but the three bedroom apartment had ample space to get ready without us running into each other or even seeing each other for that matter. Even if my family would have let me. Which they didn’t. I might have still said good morning to him first thing however.