Shop Till You Drop

Ever wondered what your groceries say about you? Well, if you happen to have some bananas in the child seat of your shopping trolleys ladies, then it means that you’re single but satisfied. For all you blokes out there however, it means that you’re single and looking. Why the difference? I have absolutely no idea. Maybe its because a woman came up with it and didn’t want to think herself desperate? If you’re actively searching for your perfect match in Coles or Woollies though, then I think you’ve obviously put more than a little thought into it.

And it’s not such a crazy idea. If you head down to your local then it’s likely that for most of the other shoppers there, it will be their local too. Likewise if you choose to head to a more affluent area (if you happen to be looking for that kind of thing). The groceries are slightly more expensive sure, but I can guarantee that there is a slightly different clientele at the Military Road Coles than can be found in the Minto Mall. And what is a couple of dollars here or there, when you’re looking for love amongst the lettuce leaves or having fun flirting over the frozen foods?

As far as I know, there are not too many (if any) supermarkets that organise actual singles nights here. I believe such things have cropped up in the States and parts of Europe though, where shoppers may pick up colour-coded baskets and queue up at special checkouts. Apparently some people cheat by having a scout around for talent first before they pick up a basket but then I guess if people wanted a totally ‘blind’ date then they wouldn’t be pursuing passion at the same time as picking preservatives.

The downside of such a plan is that you may have to increase the amount of times you actually go shopping. There are times we all may need large amounts of ice cream, alcohol, and possibly red meat. There are also times when we actually do need personal items. Its these things however, which we may not want to get caught with on our shopping trip. We may not want to appear cheap when we buy the no name products that taste just the same as the label brands and if you’ve both prunes and laxatives in your basket, well…

If you do decide the supermarket is the way to go though, there is some flirting advice I would offer. Girls, its kitsch but you could always ask guys to retrieve items that are stocked higher up. If you believe a male may be capable of answering, you might also ask for suggestions on recipes (although this possibly might work better for men). And guys, do not start a conversation with ‘so, do you come here often?’. It’s going to sound lame. Do not say something like ‘so, that time of the month huh?’, in reference to a box of tampons in her basket. It will never get you a date. And do not hold a bunch of bananas up to your crotch and say ‘there’s just no comparison, is there guys?’. You will look like a knob.