Dating Don'ts?

From Dr. Phil and Dr. Ruth to the copious amounts of Dr. Lurvs out there, is it any wonder that those who are not yet out of the dating game are just a little screwed up? Just like the diet culture, there is constant advice to do this or do that. Or don’t do this and do that. For those of us trying to play the boardgame of relationships, the board is free but we often find ourselves paying for the rules. And if we happen to ignore them or lose them, we end up paying again.

When it comes to relationships, no one wants to feel betrayed. We don’t want to be hurt, annoyed or offended and we don’t want to be unduly upset by our partners. It is a given that relationships take hard work and no one gets a completely smooth ride – or a free one – but I think there is potential for a lot of heartache to be avoided. We are all quick to judge and criticize our ‘dates’ but how many of us actually look at our own behaviour and have a list of ‘do’s and don’ts’ that we try to practice?

I think to most of us, some things would seem rather self-evident at first. For example, a lot of people consider someone whingeing about their ex for an entire hour to be a turn off. Likewise when someone talks only about themselves and how successful they are, yet the affliction is common. I can give you a list of my own pet peeves such as people who say they’ll call when they don’t mean it and people who lie, but they are symptoms of a larger problem. It’s the attitude as much as the behaviour that most of us have been guilty of at some time.

In my opinion, the biggest ‘don’t’ of dating and relationships is bringing negativity into them. Its not the kiss of death of ordering spaghetti at dinner and then getting it all over you (although that never goes down well) but the many other small ways that a lack of consideration affects how someone sees you. These can manifest in any number of ways but none are welcome and all make either one or both feel bad. Its an old saying but its true – treat others as you wish to be treated. So in all your relationships, don’t bring:

Vindictiveness, dishonesty, discord, pride, hate, faultfinding, envy, jealousy, disrespect, lies, impatience, discouragement, selfishness, contention & unforgiving etc.

No one wants to go out with someone who believes they’re better, smarter, wiser, stronger, faster, sneakier, funnier and just plain ‘more’ than you. It can really ruin your whole day!