All I Want For Christmas

Audrey Hepburn still wants a room somewhere. Not for any elicit purposes but just for somewhere to get away from the cold night air. Many school children right about now are wanting their two front teeth and what do I want for Christmas? Well, some of the calendar boys might be nice. Around this time of year, calendars flood department stores, shopping centres and email accounts and this afternoon I received one that was definitely drool-worthy.

Mr June was pretty damned hot I must say. Mr August and Mr October however (why is that my birth month is always bad?), were nothing I’d want to keep around for too long - let alone the 31 days it takes to get through the month. I would consider letting Mr February and Mr September hang around for an extended stay though. Why not. Every girl needs fuel for her fantasies after all, even if they are just good for meat and muscle. And as it was pointed out to me the other night, what else do we have to drool over?

I have been told repeatedly by men, that sometimes there’s nothing better than a pair of breasts. Any breasts. One guy even went as far as telling me he’d like to wake up next to a pair of breasts each morning whether they were attached to a woman or not. I’m not quite sure how to take that but it pretty much supports the idea that all breasts are good. And luckily pretty much all women have them. When it comes to what all women drool over however like a tight butt, a six pack or great pecs etc, well unfortunately not all men have those.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not personally holding out for a Mr Universe (actually, I don’t think I could stand dating someone that ripped anyway) and I am aware that I’m not a swimsuit model myself but I definitely indulge in a few fantasies now and then. You know, the kind of politically incorrect ones that completely objectify the male body and ones in which I could challenge Jennifer Hawkins for her crown any day of the week. I may go between being the damsel in distress and the scintillating siren but the tall, dark and handsome part of the equation generally remains the same. Hey, they're my fantasies.

So this year in my Santa stocking I know what I’d like to see. I’m sure a bit of lean, buff and tanned muscle could be fun. And of course, if Santa saw fit to drop something off on my doorstep instead, I’d be sure to let him know I’ll be celebrating interstate this year.