Sexy Is The Word - Or Not

Someone sent me a whole series of short quizzes today at work. These provided the means by which I could work out which 2004 hit song best symbolised me (Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic’ apparently – take that how you will) and whether I had an A+ personality (unfortunately not as the case may be). There was also a quiz to find out how old I act. As it turns out, I appear to be 29 (which is not actually my age). So now at the same time as I am contemplating just when I started to grow older without my notice, I am still trying to figure out if I’m starting to become a prude.

Now I would have thought that I was a fairly open minded person. I have no objection to same sex couples in public and whilst living in Europe, I found no difficulty with the somewhat more relaxed attitudes to sex and the body. Some of my friends have an interest in life drawing and I myself have an interest in photography and have been involved in several projects over the years. I am also partial to dancing and yes, have occasionally sought attention in public by showing off with both males and females. Last weekend however, whilst out at a bar, I saw two girls dancing together in a manner that I can only describe as rather vulgar.

If there was actually a market for Sluts ’R Us, then these girls could have been executives. At the time I saw them, they already had the ‘I’m obviously so drunk I’ll agree to anything’ look down pat. They were both wearing little dresses and swishing each other’s skirts and doing the ‘see how easy our clothes would be to take off, you just have to lift the dress up like so’ move. And in case you had any doubts about what they were after that night, you only had to observe the ‘imagine how much fun it would be to run your hands down our chests or all over our arses just like we’re doing to each other’ routine to know they were out for some fun.

In addition to this, just so they weren’t mistaken for lesbians, they would at random intervals look around to check that they were still receiving attention from any males in the vicinity. And in case you missed this (or couldn’t actually pick which bouncing babe you liked more) they would occasionally prove they could count higher than two and pull a guy over to prove that ‘things really happen in threes’. All in all, their behaviour was about as subtle as a sledgehammer, and to me, about as painful as one. So now I am hoping several things. One, that I wasn’t the only one who thought this. Two, that I’m not becoming stodgy. And three, that I never have to see a display like that again.