Good On Paper

Do you ever get the feeling that you are one of those people who might be ‘good on paper’? You know, the kind of person that could sit down and make a list of qualities, which in turn would make anyone think that they had everything going for them? The kind of person who might sound just right for whatever one might have in mind but when put in a position to actually sell themselves (in a figurative sort of sense I mean), they’re all thumbs? Or they have an instantaneous onset of verbal diarrhoea? Or something equally as awkward happens? Basically, when they just don’t cut it? I hate that feeling.

The first time I remember having that feeling was in a job interview. Can you tell me why you think you might be good at the job? Can you describe a situation where you have had to do X? Can you provide an example of Y? Why yes I can. I can probably tell you in twice as many words as absolutely necessary and in such a round about fashion as to possibly make you forget the original question because I am nervous as well! I can even repeat myself in several different ways in an attempt to disguise the fact that I’ve gone straight past eloquently constructed speech, right through to babble. Don’t you lust love it when that happens?

On the positive side though, I ‘think’ I have managed to hide it pretty well. I believe I still come across as quite coherent. Its just that I also come across as rather loquacious at times. And this is not restricted to the work environment either. Oh no. If I encounter any awkward silences whilst out on dates, there is definitely not a competition to see who can fill them first. At least in my opinion. As a result, I’ll sometimes find myself on the receiving end of a blank stare that says there is no emotional connection here whatsoever at the same time as a little voice in my head says - well you buggered that one up my girl. But you get that. Just like you get the times when its not me, it is you.

Occasionally there’s the guy who is smart, attractive, funny, generous, comes from a good family, has great friends, has a nice home and a decent job and the ability to make you wake up in a cold sweat cause you’ve just got to get out of this place. There’s that guy who is both genuine and caring and thinks you’re something fantastic but manages to leave you colder than a snowball in winter because he doesn’t ‘get’ you at all. There are also the bad boys who for some inexplicable reason turn out to be more boring than watching curling. All of them may leave you asking ‘why!’ because aren’t they just what women want? How can it be that they don’t row your boat?

It is inevitable that you will go through life and meet people who you develop little or no rapport with. There are times when someone is just not what you’re looking for and vice versa. Sometimes it takes a rare mix to rock your world and if you listen to most people, it is out there waiting for you. There shouldn’t really be any need to apologise for not turning out to be ‘the one’ but on the other hand, it is always nice to get that rubber stamp of approval when you want it.