Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Hmm…so they say. But on the flipside, expressing your wish to break off contact with someone is actually not at all difficult. Getting through a break-up can sometimes be tough but starting it off, is scarily easy. If you have been going out with someone for any length of time you say ‘its not you, its me’, also known as ‘it is you but I’m trying to be nice here’ (I experienced this courtesy of Rob-the-knob) and if you don’t want to start seeing someone, you say ‘I’m not trying to be evasive but…’.

Seriously. Its like it’s the new black or something. I have had two people give me the brush off with this line. First there was Russell-the-bastard whom those of you who know me may have already heard about and more recently, Kit-the-git. The reasons are always different - travel overseas, business interstate, a wedding to attend (actually both used this excuse), training to do - but the line remains the same. I must admit that when I heard it the second time around, I was on alert but I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. This was apparently a waste of my time.

‘Kit’ and I had been emailing for a while and had decided that we should hook up. After the emails kinda slowed down though, we actually had to arrange to meet. After being put on hold with ‘the line’, I decided I wasn’t going to just wait for the guy to call and so I asked if he still wanted to meet - whilst making it clear I’d not be offended if he said ‘no’ I might add. The whole thing then turned into a very half-arsed affair leaving little doubt that we were going to go nowhere fast. And I mean that literally as well as figuratively.

In the typical ‘no commitment’ style of today’s singles, we didn’t arrange to meet at a time and place but rather I was to give him a call when I was free on the Saturday. This then went through to voicemail, which may have been legit but after recently experiencing Chad-the-cad’s need to screen all phone calls, I was a little skeptical. So anyway, he called me back an hour later to ask what I was up to. After I mentioned that I was around and didn’t have a car (apparently a mark against me), he came to meet me at the shops. Then after meeting, we made it all of a hundred meters - to Gloria Jeans.

Now maybe its me, but there’s just something about getting to know someone in a mall that’s tacky. It was fine when I was a teenager but a decade or so later, I feel I should have graduated to cafes or bars or…well anything’s better than the mall really. But that’s where we were while we had a drink and a bit of a chat about work, siblings, the races, where we lived and dating fads. I believe I racked up another mark against me when I said I couldn’t afford to live on my own and I assume there were a number of others because after we’d finished our beverages he told me he was sorry to cut it short but he had to run. I chose to read that as ‘escape’. And then he was gone.

I kinda knew it was coming so I guess it wasn’t really a surprise. At least there was some kind of warm up to it. An expression that even though he wasn’t big enough to tell me he wasn’t interested, he also didn’t want to hurt my feelings by having me hang on while he was oh so busy. Unlike the derivative of ‘the line’, which is to completely ignore the other person by being otherwise occupied, in the hope that they’ll go away. I have also recently experienced this myself and seen my sister go though it with Jez-the-pez and I have to say, it really pisses me off!