Lost For Words

Like many people I am sure, I occasionally find myself in situations where I really have no idea what to say to someone. I get to that point where I’ve exhausted the seemingly obvious or safe topics of conversation but I feel somehow obliged to continue. I rack my brain for something both appropriate and relevant to say but depending on the situation I find myself in, I usually come back to something that is either not particularly relevant or appropriate.

When faced with questions that I’d rather not be answering, I often remember my friend Legs’ attempt at subtly changing the subject - do you want to make muffins? Having been confronted once by a personal situation in which she felt uncomfortable, she decided that injecting this into the conversation would be an effective way to avoid any unpleasantness. Taken out of the context of the situation, this probably sounds a little odder than it actually was but let me assure you, its not by much. And unfortunately for Legs, I think it ended up embarrassing her somewhat and amusing the rest of us although I guess it did kind of serve its purpose at the time as well.

Another response that frequently comes to mind is courtesy of my friend Nackers. She found herself on a bus once with someone who we’d both counted as a friend in high school. After about five minutes though, when the so-what-have-you-been-up-to-since conversation ran out, she realised that she really had nothing in common with that person any more. She said she felt trapped into conversing however (because she couldn’t just get off the bus), but wasn’t able to come up with anything more interesting or stimulating to say than ‘so, what colour are your socks…?’. I can definitely sympathise with this. Sometimes its really hard to find a basic wavelength that you share.

And then there are those ‘other’ times when you have no idea what to say to someone. Times when you are talking to someone you can’t or don’t want to simply walk away from. Times when you’re not necessarily trying to deflect an awkward conversation but you feel you ought to say something. Perhaps a time when it has been made clear that someone feels more for you than can be reciprocated. What exactly do you say then? I have been asked this and asked it of others and I still don’t have a satisfactory answer, because how do you bring a relationship back to where you both feel comfortable again? If you ever come up with something that doesn’t sound clichéd or trite, let me know cause I’ve gotta say, I’m not sure ‘that kinda sucks huh?’ is really going to cut it.