Tier Four (NOT) My @rse

Ok, further to my entry on when it might be an appropriate time to call someone after an exchange of phone numbers, I felt I had to write about the Tier theory. When I was recently back in Canberra, indulging in some quality television time, I was introduced to this theory by one of the charming cameos on Oprah’s ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ special. This particular show did actually air here last year but I have only now FINALLY managed to get a hold of it and watch it, and some parts of it were…interesting.

The whole thing was actually a bit sensationalist I found. Oprah was interviewing Greg Behrendt but not his co-author (who happened to be a woman and present in the audience). Given that Greg was a self-confessed (former) bastard though (he’s happily married now), he probably made the better sound byte. The show was cute, but it didn’t really enlighten me much further on the book at all. It merely reinforced my impression that you could probably sum the whole thing up in a couple of paragraphs. To be honest though, I haven’t actually read the book so you may argue that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Regardless of that, Oprah obviously had fun cutting to girls explaining their dilemmas before asking Greg to interpret them. She also cut to guys (who by the way looked like they had made dating somewhat of a profession) for some male secrets all women should know. One of these was the Tier theory. It was confessed by one of the guys that he classes all of his female acquaintances into separate categories. From Tier 1 women who will always be top most in his mind to Tier 4 women who are good for, and will only ever be, a booty call. See, I told you he was charming.

The guy in question expanded on this to say that a Tier 1 woman was someone he really wanted to spend time with. As part of his ‘Dream Team’, he would always be taking her call and would probably be calling her on a Monday or Tuesday. She is the sort of woman he’d plan to spend his weekend with. A Tier 2 woman would be a backup for the Tier 1. A woman in this category would get a call maybe on the Wednesday or Thursday to suss out what she was up to, to keep her interested or maybe hook up. A Tier 3 woman however would not rate this consideration. She would get a call on the way to a club, perhaps to potentially meet up if she was out but possibly more to touch base.

And then we get to Tier 4. This woman would not rate a call throughout the week. She would not get a call whilst he was on the way to a club and a call coming from her would probably not be one he answered. She would get the heads up as he was leaving a club. If he had nothing better to do and was still up for some fun, she would finally make a blip on his radar. She is the BOO-TAY CALL! You know what I’m sayin’? So now don’t you all feel enlightened? Guys, you may figure out where you can improve and girls, you may just have a new level to which you can aspire.