Challenge Of Attraction

Ok. So heres the thing. I have read a lot of dating tips and advice columns for research and, well, probably for the tips and advice as well. I have read articles on body language, chapters on picking people up, guides on flirting in conversation and sites on all of the above. I have seen a lot of very average stuff out there that is largely common sense and / or simply a regurgitation of everything else on the market. I have also seen some things that have intrigued me. A post entitled ‘Using Challenges To Make Women Qualify’ was one of these.

According to the author, there is definitely an art to picking up women. It does not necessarily have anything to do with how good-looking you are or with how much money you might have and everything to do with the tricks of the trade. Social connections, a drop-dead gorgeous bod and unlimited funds would certainly help most people but ATTRACTION apparently, is not about what a woman prefers in a man (whether she prefers these things or not). ATTRACTION is very much about what she wants or what she thinks she needs, and some of those things might surprise you.

And I’m not talking here about things like compassion or generosity or similar qualities women might expect from a long-term relationship. I’m not talking about what you look for in a soul-mate either but of what might turn your head and have you getting friendly with someone. How many times have you seen people hook up with someone you never would have expected? How many times have you wondered how one person was successful and another wasn’t? Well it seems that ATTRACTION has a lot to answer for.

Lets face it, if someone’s reason for maintaining a relationship is purely for social or financial gain and a better offer came along, you wouldn’t see them for dust. If on the other hand, their reasons for maintaining said relationship were emotional, they would still be around even if the so called ‘gain’ was less. So for those people who are not offering anything long-term or buying their way to a fulfilling evening and bragging that they can get you into an A-list party, how do they do it? The author of the post suggests that they know how to make women qualify themselves.

ATTRACTION, says the author, is about emotionally compelling a woman to chase you. It is about making her seek your validation and prove herself worthy. The author feels that if you engage a woman in conversation but tell her you would only be interested under certain conditions, you invite her to qualify herself and demonstrate those conditions. An example was put forward where the author decided he would only date adventurous and spontaneous women. If the women claimed to be both of these, he would ask if they were in kissing school, what grade would their instructor give them. Apparently, women would often respond to this by saying ‘A+’ and when invited to prove they’d earned it, some accepted.

So apparently women are all just suckers for male approval. We don’t like to think that we may be found lacking in some respect and if we feel that our worth is threatened in the eyes of another, we will seek to rectify it. We will apparently feel tension while we are actively seeking acceptance and in order to bring closure or release, will need to qualify ourselves to that person. It was also stressed that an important part of the challenge/qualify technique was the belief that the desired outcome would be achieved but given that, this technique is supposedly the secret to success. I can’t say I’m particularly flattered by the way the whole thing was written but I will say that I think this technique works just as well the other way around.