Not Always Better The Devil You Know

Well I got accused the other day of being one of those women that are the reason some guys won’t ask a girl out. If that makes sense. It was suggested that I’d slapped a guy down unfairly and it was women like me who made it so difficult for guys in general to approach the opposite sex. I can actually see where this bearer of bad news (well for me it was kind of unflattering) was coming from but (rightly or wrongly) I maintain that I was never actually asked out, I never actually declined and it was more a case of no harm, no foul.

To elaborate a little on the case in point, I was chatted up by a guy at one of the ‘work drinks’ events that I recently attended. We flirted as we discussed the fact that we were both single, the possibility of a meal together and the opinion that lunch was possibly the best date meal as it provides a date that somehow holds less pressure but can easily be extended. And the flirting was fun. As opposed to leading him on however, I did express that I was not looking for a date and had no intention of ‘picking up’ that night. I was happy to flirt but that’s as far as I was going. I thought that was fair.

He in turn listened to this but chose to see it more as a challenge I guess and set out to charm. And he did make me smile. Unfortunately for him however, he was in fact also following on the heels of his less than sterling reputation that had preceded him. Granted the information was largely second hand but I do believe some of it was at least accurate which left me questioning in part, both his taste in women and some of his personal choices. As a result, I don’t believe I was rude but I was definitely not taking any nonsense or letting him get anywhere. And I do think that he recognised this.

As the conversation progressed I also remember stating that I was sick of guys who couldn’t seem to get past the physical, both literally and figuratively. Guys with whom the conversation kept coming back to my looks as though they could flatter me into anything they wanted and those who had broken off contact when I did not immediately make all of myself available to them. At this point I was told he had now revised his decision to ask me out but I was more than welcome to ask him out. It was a cute gamble but in this case, one that didn’t pay off.

So in the end I didn’t really end up playing with the playboy. It was a ‘thanks but no thanks’, which I believe did not adversely affect him at all. I am sure he is happy to go on just as he has done before but I will say that should he have taken any offence, I truly meant no harm. I am aware of the effort it takes to put oneself out there and if nothing else I applaud that. It would be nice though, to be attracted to someone who was just as interested in getting into my head as into my bed.