Everybody Is Looking For Something

Well if you happened to be browsing through Sam And The City on the SMH website today, you might have come across What Modern Women Are Looking For. Yet another piece that purports to inform those disillusioned daters out there what it is that today’s gals happen to desire in a guy. Does it actually accomplish this? Well no, not really. It talks about the confusion felt by many out there at the moment. It talks about us wanting metrosexuals and retrosexuals. It also talks about women who don’t need men but nevertheless want them to be the type of guys who would be quite useful if in fact they were ‘needed’. No absolute conclusions are reached in the post, however it is expressed that at the end of the day, we still pretty much want what it was that we wanted a couple of decades ago. Whatever that was.

To be honest, I’m not actually knocking this lack of a definitive answer. As one of the commenters so rightly states, in order to answer what it is that women actually want - it really just depends. It depends because everyone is an individual, so no single standard will be applicable to everyone (duh!). And lets face it, it depends because women change their minds faster than the time it takes to order a Big Mac (if they happen to have made a decision in the first place), so whatever they want now, might only be good for the next five minutes or so. I’m not sure if I was being facetious then or not. In any case, theres no easy way of knowing the answer despite all the posturing that’s going on and you just have to look over at the other sam to see how some guys are getting caught in the crossfire.

And I do have sympathy for the guys. Really. Despite the fact that some facets of society have undoubtedly progressed, I think they still have the harder job. Women sometimes make it difficult for themselves, sure, but we’re not exactly blameless in the battle of the sexes. For example, the dark and brooding thing is definitely out. We are not doing the enigmatic persona right now. Strong and silent is a description that should fit your white goods and not your man. We want someone who will sit down to openly communicate and share with us instead. Someone who is in touch with their feelings and who seeks to function effectively within a co-dependant relationship (this is beginning to sound like a bullshit bingo wordlist). However if James Bond were to turn up tomorrow asking for a date…well we could definitely overlook any minor flaws.

We tell guys that all we want is someone with honesty, integrity and a great sense of humour and in the next breath allow that they have to be able to fix whatever is broken around the house, eradicate (and possibly exterminate) any insects or rodents, be willing to take out the trash and to look sexy doing it. Its not like women are fickle or anything though. We just think ahead. Or we don’t always think. You would have to say that we certainly think nothing of indiscriminately combining values, characteristics, traits and abilities on our running list of the perfect guy. But this is the way it always is. Its not as if people haven’t discussed this topic ad nauseam already but it inevitably gets brought up and off we go again. Its not that I mind though really, obviously, but I do kinda wish some people weren’t so self-righteous about it.