Paris In Winter

So I was feeling a little unhappy towards the end of last week. Nothing was wrong per se and I was not unhappy in the sense that I was actually sad or depressed but there is a state of being happy where you are positive and relaxed and content – and I just wasn’t it. I wasn’t out painting the town red and laughing at all the world’s follies. I wasn’t sipping champagne and making men fall at my feet…actually, that never happens anyway and if I was sipping champagne it would probably be me doing the falling at the feet thing…Regardless, you know how when you do not particularly care enough to be interested you are disinterested? Well I was ‘dishappy’ except that that sounds demented so perhaps we’ll stick with the first word choice.

Whichever choice of word you go with however, it would actually not be applicable to the end of my week. As it happens, I was most gloriously saved by my friend Paris. We spent the afternoon hanging out and it just put me on the biggest high. We talked non-stop about everything and nothing and enjoyed the sunshine around the Botanical Gardens and the Harbour. It was awesome. Can you get drunk on other people? If you can I was probably close to that on Sunday afternoon. It was the most relaxing couple of hours that I have spent in ages. I’ve missed that feeling recently. Paris and I have actually had a somewhat rocky friendship over the last decade or so but we just picked up as if nothing had happened and we hadn’t been out of touch for years.

Not once did I worry if I sounded silly or stupid. I never second guessed voicing an opinion. I didn’t get concerned that I was coming across as pretentious or weird and I felt that I was understood – without qualifications, clarifications or explanations. It’s a heady sensation. You know, I am a big fan of flirting. Its fun to meet new people and match wits with them. It makes me smile when I get to be a bit cheeky or a tad naughty. The anticipation you feel as you’re figuring out how to keep someone on their toes is also kind of exciting. Having said that however, I would hope to actually find that familiar comfort of someone who can understand where you’ve been, who just knows where you’re at and who wants to be with you where you are going. Man that sounded sappy!

If it were at all possible to skip past the awkward part in the dating phase and go straight to that, I think I would be all for it. I really don’t deal with the uncertainty thing at all well. This would be a case in point. I am still yet to find the guy however that can totally knock my socks off. Especially as I have always wondered how one actually does accomplish the knocking off of socks. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see though. Bugger.