I Need A New Hobby

There is something to be said for being of a cautious nature. Or perhaps that was being lazy. Basically whatever it is that has stopped me from going broke, starting a degree I’m never going to finish, moving somewhere I really don’t want to live and generally getting myself in way over my head. It seems that occasionally when things throw me emotionally off balance (although not in a bad and falling on my arse way, just like when you’re walking across something and you find you need your arms out for balance kind of way), I grasp onto something else that will keep me busy and possibly be that elusive answer to the riddle of my life. Or perhaps that was the riddle of me. I have been told on more than one occasion by men that I am a riddle wrapped in mystery inside an enigma. What is that? Apart from obscure I mean. Or maybe that was an I am obscure…?

Anyway, my most recent Grand Idea was that I could afford a house. By myself. And not just any old house but one with at least two bedrooms and in an area that is not so out of the city that it may as well be in another state. Which is a plainly ridiculous notion at this point in my life. I’m not saying I could never do it, but tomorrow? There’d be a bigger chance of hell freezing over I think. So due to my not actually pursuing my Grand-Ideas-as-a-result-of-not-thinking-clearly over the past year I won’t become a proud home owner yet, I’m not living in a big city where English is a second language, I’m not living in a small country town either, I’m not employed as a pole dance teacher and am not earning qualifications in Stupid and Pointless Areas. Amongst other things.

Now I don’t think any of those could really be considered as particularly radical which now that I think about it, takes a little fun out it don’t you think? I mean if I’m going to be impulsive and act on all my whims (for which I am eternally grateful that I don’t) then fine. I would definitely have some more interesting stories to tell, like that one time, at band camp (sorry, lame joke), but since I don’t (and my band camp stories aren’t that interesting), I may as well have some more bizarre ideas that I have no intention of following through on. A quick scan for unusual careers has netted the following possibilities for my next coordination challenge: Golf Ball Marshal (its outdoors, sporty and has the potential to inspire bad jokes), Mortuary Beautician (you get to be a make-up artist and you never have to worry about your subject moving or making your job difficult) and Actor for a Haunted House (possibly involves travel and it could be kind of fun to scare the crap out of people continually).

With so many possibilities out there just imagine what I could come up with next time I feel the need for a distraction. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade they say. In the mean time though, writing about it will just have to do. Or perhaps not writing about it is more apt. Occasionally I write things that are quite specific (which does actually help me) but sometimes references really are obscure. Perhaps there’s more truth to that whole riddle thing than I thought.