Take III...part 2

Given that my last attempt was a little too mushy on the whole, I thought I needed to post something on here to balance it out. This is definitely not going to be used in my speech, mostly because I don’t feel its really in keeping with the whole style of the wedding at all, but it did amuse me nonetheless.

Thank you to my mum and dad cause you done raised me good
I waited for the perfect man just like you said I should
Thank you to my sister cause you’ve always made me smile
And should you ever need me all you have to do is dial
Thank you to my new in-laws, you’ve all been really great
You’ve welcomed me from day one which I so appreciate
Thank you to the minister, you really helped us out
Without you there’d be zip right now to celebrate about
Thank you to photographers who’ve caught our wedding day
Those frozen moments mean much more to us than I can say
Thank you to the tailors and the dress makers we used
If not for you we’d all be nude and our guests unamused
Thank you to the florist, you have brightened up our room
From the tables to the blossoms which adorned the bride and groom
Thank you to the drivers of the cars which brought us here
Your navigation skills are tops, you all deserve a beer
Thank you to the chefs and cooks and bar and wait staff too
A hungry or a thirsty room of people would not do
Thank you to the maker of the cake that sits right there
I know that it was made with taste and talent and some care
Thank you to the dj for the tunes you mix tonight
I’m sure you’ll play some songs to get this party started right
Thank you to my husband for the great man that you are
If we keep on as we have done we’re sure to both go far
And finally a thank you to the loved ones here before me
Eat up, drink up, cut a rug and smile because its free!

Take III

Well I realised why I didn’t just want to give a ‘thankyou’ speech. I figured I’d take a shot at writing some expressions of gratitude without them being an all out thank you and ended up with something that I felt was too trite for me to actually use. Whilst the sentiments are all completely sincere, I don’t think I’d be comfortable standing up in a room full of people to say them. At least not with a steady voice. Oddly enough, The Boy felt that the below was something he could see me saying and not writing which was the completely opposite of what I felt. I’ve written it though and I wanted to post it but this is not really a winner for me. Apparently great minds don’t always think alike...

“Wow. What a day its been. So far today I have been poked, prodded, lectured and gawked at. I’ve gotten choked up, made other people cry and suffered for my art because there is no such thing as a full meal in this dress! But you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way because it got me here tonight.

Now whereas I’m occasionally a sentimental person, I’m not normally a sappy person so I’ve been struggling a bit with what to say in my speech. The general consensus for what I’m supposed to cover however seems to be that at some point, I am to talk about what this day means to me and to include my personal thankyous. That seemed like a pretty good place to start which means I pretty much can’t avoid the sap at all.

I think the easiest way to sum up what this day actually means to me is the word “Family”. I have been independent now for a number of years but today, I guess you could say that I have placed one foot out the door from the family whose name I have shared for 29 years. Having said that though, I am conscious of not actually leaving behind everything that has lead up to this day but rather I carry with me all that my parents have taught me about being part of a family and caring for that family. Mum and Dad, you both always listened to me, encouraged me and supported me and I have never doubted for a second that you both love me and want whats best for my future. You built my sister and I a home not with wood and brick but with heart and soul and I know how lucky we are to have been given that. If I can do as much for my husband and any children as you have done for me, they will be blessed indeed.

As I have taken this further step of independence from my family however, I have joined another family who have already become a part of my life. Mother-in-law and Father-in-law, I would like to say to you both that I am honoured to become an official part of your family today because I know that all the traits I love in The Boy have come from both of you. Since I have slowly gotten to know The Boy’s family, I have felt nothing but welcomed by my Mother-in-law & Partner and my Father-in-law & Partner and indeed my sister-in-law (who came all the way from Mexico to be part of this occasion!), and then there are also the new cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. Each of them have given me a bit more insight into this man I now call my husband and I think The Boy and I both look forward to sharing our future with them. After the honeymoon.

And that stipulation goes for The Pussycat too, who kindly let me in on the fact many months ago that this wedding and everything to do with it was all about her. From where I am standing, you were so wrong girlfriend. But I do want to let you know that even though I used to tell mum and dad that I would have liked a brother, I wouldn't actually change having a sister for anything. Being sisters with you has been amazing, traumatic, and sometimes scary but definitely awesome because you’re one of my best friends. I have to warn you though, play nice with The Boy later or you’re both in trouble!

For the moment though, I think The Boy and I will just enjoy the new family we have committed to being today. Coming from our own separate families, together, we have started our own, whether that remain just the two of us or be with the addition of children in the future. But to all of you here tonight, know that with this new family of ours, we have a collective extended family that celebrates with us here today. Whether you be parents, in-laws, siblings, grandparents, god parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, dear friends or a mixture thereof you are all a member of our family and I thank you for coming here to share this day with us.

So please raise your glass with me and toast to families and the future.”

*Please note for those who are accessing this through the wedding site, I would not normally refer to my in-laws as Mother-in-law and Father-in-law etc. This has been done as my personal identity and those of my family and friends have always been kept anonymous on the original blogspot site.

Take II

Well here is one of my other attempts at the wedding speech. I have a feeling that this might be a little better heard rather than read but as I'm often told - I can't have everything I want right now. Pity.

"Hi Everyone. I know The Boy has already thanked you all for being here today but I would like to add my own thanks, especially since many of you knew that I’d want to say a few words tonight...its very touching that you still decided to come.

Ever since we got engaged, I have been thinking about this wedding. I didn’t actually plan any of it but I have been thinking about it just the same. I hoped that everything would go off smoothly on the day and that even the most insignificant of details would not be overlooked. I needn’t have worried however, his Best Man made sure he was there. But seriously though, I have never doubted The Boy. I have been both frustrated and confused by him but I have never actually doubted in his love for me, his faith in me or his hope for our future together. I am proud to be married to The Boy today and I thought, what better opportunity than now would I have to let him know how I feel?

When I sat down to write what I wanted to say however, I stopped. And sat. And waited for immediate genius to strike. Which it didn’t. Anyone who knows me well would probably attest to the fact that I normally have an abundance of things to say whenever I sit down to write anything but as I tried to formulate my thoughts about my new husband, nothing sounded quite right. It was either too sappy, too cheesy or not emotive enough at all and I may as well have been writing out a shopping list! So I thought I would look for inspiration elsewhere. I thought about things that were important to both of us and one of the first things that came to my mind was music.

Both The Boy and I are passionate about having music in our lives and indeed practicing it – with varying degrees of success I must add (there is a reason why I try not to sing or play in public any more). I know that there are songs that we both find quite emotionally powerful so I figured I couldn’t go wrong by looking to the many practitioners of melodic poetry out there for some suggestions and guidance. I searched through numerous albums and lists, looking for everything that seemed fitting for this occasion and then I pieced all of it together to form my message and this is what I came up with:

First time ever I saw your face, it must have been love. You are the sunshine of my life. You’re the one that I want. Only you. (Baby I’ve got you) on my mind. Can’t get you out of my head. You’re the first, the last, my everything. Simply irresistible. Unforgettable.
Have I told you lately, my funny valentine, nothing compares 2 U? You’re still the one. Time after time, I don’t wanna be with nobody but you.
For sentimental reasons, you go to my head. When I see you smile, when you say nothing at all, you raise me up.
Tonight I celebrate my love. We’ve only just begun. Every time we say goodbye, well be together again. Love will keep us together, never tear us apart. Now and forever, I’ll stand by you. I’ll be there for you, hopelessly devoted to you. You are not alone, this I promise you. I don’t want to miss a thing.
Everybody needs somebody to love “truly madly deeply”. I got you babe. Nothings gonna stop us now, its only the beginning. Our love is here to stay. Isn’t it romantic?
What a wonderful world!
Thats all.

But having written that, I’m not totally sure it conveys how much I admire and respect this man beside me or how much I am looking forward to the love we have for each other growing old with us as well. Maybe my best opportunity to let him know how I feel is in fact the rest of my life. And if that is the case, perhaps all I really need to say tonight is actually far simpler than I’d first imagined. With that in mind, I think that what I really want to say can best be summed up by the words of Nat King Cole: “Darling, je vous aime beaucoup. I love you, yes I do”.

So please join me now and raise your glasses in a toast to The Boy."

Speech, speech...

I have been thinking a lot about wedding speeches recently. Namely mine. I’m sure the fact that I want to give a speech at my own wedding will surprise, well, absolutely no one at all really, but I figure if I’m going to speak, I’d at least like to try and make it memorable. I am well aware that whatever words I have to say will be yet another speech that our guests will have to listen to before they can all get back into the booze so I’d rather not bore the pants off them, you know? But now, having resolved on the decision to make my memorable speech, what on Earth do I say?

Never one to throw myself into to doing something incorrectly if there is in fact proper etiquette or technique that should be utilised, I looked up Bride Speeches on the internet. And found out from that fountain of all knowledge that there was basically no etiquette to be followed whatsoever! I can give my speech at whichever point of the proceeding I choose. There is no one I must make sure to mention. There are no people I am responsible for thanking. Having said that however, it does seem to be pretty generic for the bride to thank absolutely everyone she can possibly think of while she has the floor.

Thank you to the guests for all looking so spectacular and attending from near and far. Thank you to the cake maker for such a scrumptious dessert. Thank you to the venue for housing such a wonderful memory. Thank you to the best man for not shaving off the grooms eyebrows at the bucks night. Thank you to the maid of honour for making sure the bride didn’t flash anything inappropriate at her hens. Thank you to the friends who took the three am phone calls about how the material for the table runners did not match the bridesmaids shoes. Thank you to the in-laws for raising such a wonderful son. Thank you to the parents for upholding the standard upon which you judged a solid relationship... Its like one big love in really. Some of that I can’t really say but most of it, well I wouldn’t want it to make up the entirety of my speech. Thats what thank you cards are for isn’t it?

So I thought that maybe I should make up a couple of versions of my bridal speech. See which version I like the most and which is not likely to make me cry on the night. Which, lets face it, I am probably going to do anyway. And if I end up with a number of variations of the same thing, with nothing much specifically to do with them, I figured I may as well post them here. People could even vote!...Maybe not. But in case anyone was wondering, this was my first shot...

“So this is how it feels to be married...I like it!

Most of the wedding etiquette articles I’ve read say that the bride doesn't have to make a speech. If anyone in this room tonight thought that wouldn't happen though, you must be at the wrong wedding, or you don't know me very well at all! Now I could stand up and easily spend the next five or ten minutes thanking everyone who has contributed to this wedding today or indeed to the relationship that The Boy and I share. Every single one of you has made an impact on the people we are today or how we got here. But instead of a long list of thankyous, I thought I would take this opportunity to say a couple of things about my new husband here.

They say that in marriage its a good idea to have shared goals. Someone to help you in your endeavours, and also to offer understanding as you strive towards your end. Both The Boy and I understand this. Since I knew that come today, I would have to stand around from morning till night in a bodice hugging wedding dress, I have been on a mission to tone up and maintain a healthier lifestyle. I started walking in my lunch break and stopped snacking on the ever present biscuits at work. And I figure I did an alright job. I must say also that The Boy was fully supportive of this health kick. When we first got engaged I knew I wanted to look great in my wedding dress. When we got engaged, The Boy knew he wanted me to look great out of it. Ok, so we maybe had slightly different motivations but the goal – exactly the same!

And that I think has been pretty indicative of our relationship so far. Each of us brings our own strengths and way of looking at things to the table and then we find a way of making it work together. A lot of you know that I have been into photography for years. I have a camera with me almost everywhere I go and have documented the lives of those around me for as long as I can remember. When I met The Boy, he hated being in photos. He avoided it studiously and told me he wasn’t about to change his mind any time soon. If any of you have checked out the website we set up a while ago though, you will know that we have been taking a photo of ourselves together every day of this year so far. And I can tell you that there have been a lot of others besides. But having a common goal has definitely made our lives easier in this respect although it might be argued that the goal could best be expressed by something my old boss used to say - a happy wife’s a happy life!

I think another thing that The Boy has learnt from our relationship so far is not to underestimate me. Or rather, I think I impressed this upon him before we started dating. I can’t remember now how we got on to the topic but we were discussing the female alternative to a brawl and he ended up daring me one evening to slap him across the face...So I did...He has never made that mistake again. But, as much as I don’t always surprise him with good things, I think he knows that I will do it whole heartedly and I won’t hold back. Just as I do in other parts of our lives. He knows I will be honest and loyal, that I will share who I am with him and make room for him in my life in turn. He knows, or at least I hope he does, that I will laugh with him, argue with him, and support him as best I can. I wear his rings with sincerity, with faith, with trust and with love and I look forward to our future together with hope. I promised before God this afternoon to love, honour and cherish this man and I ask you all tonight to hold me accountable to that promise.

With that in mind, please raise your glasses and toast to the groom and his life with the bride!”

Review

So it is review time again at work and my eternally wonderful husband-to-be sat up late with me last night to write my responses, provide a sounding board for my thoughts and generally tell me that I wasn’t allowed to shoot myself in the foot! He put up with my inability to formulate coherent and succinct thoughts at 12 am in the morning and commiserated with the fact that there were 29 different questions that each required individual answers which pretty much all started to sound like each other after a while! There is only so much you can say about some topics after all.

It got me thinking though, you almost always get review processes at work but you rarely get them in life. What would it be like if you did? Who would actually pose questions or be the recipient of the answers? Would it be any easier to answer the questions I did last night if I were answering them about something else?

What do you consider the main responsibilities of your position?
I believe I am honour bound to conduct myself in a manner demonstrating due respect to my partner where applicable, supporting him in his endeavours and actively promoting a productive working relationship throughout our life together.
At the moment I am the person who does the folding in the relationship, makes sure we are not trying to cultivate penicillin in the fridge and ensures that the house isn’t littered with crockery, cutlery and the remnants of food left behind.

Are there any changes that have occurred in the past year with your responsibilities?
There have not been any significant changes to my responsibilities over the past year.
I did get promoted from the girlfriend to the fiancé though so I guess now some of the responsibilities have become a little less optional?

Consider your performance in your present job. What do you consider that you have done well in the past year, and what not so well?
I think I have provided a supportive and encouraging environment for my partner whereby our relationship has been able to grow however it might be advantageous to exercise more patience and understanding in our day to day lives in the future.
I am quite impressed that I haven’t completely lost it with him when he infuriates me although those situations often come up because I’m being a complete cow.

Has any personal problem or ill health affected your work?
There have been no problems that have had long term effects upon my role.
When I personally am completely ticked off by something that he has done then I’m really not very much fun to be around.

Is there any aspect of your work that you do not find satisfactory or about which you would like more information?
I am sometimes unsure of how to effectively deal with situations that frequently result in some sort of minor conflict.
How on earth are you supposed to respond to the question “do you want me to watch tv with you?”. At least in a way that is mutually satisfactory. If I say ‘no’ it sounds as though I don’t want my partner anywhere near me which is so not the case and as long as I can still watch the tv, I will be happy.
If I say ‘yes’, it sounds like I want to actively share the experience which inevitably leads to talking or distraction because he doesn’t actually want to watch what I’m watching at all. In these situations therefore I don’t want him to watch tv with me cause I think he’ll end up frustrated and bored (its happened before) but I don’t want him not to watch tv with me either because I like the company. See my dilemma?

Is there any part of your work for which training may be of assistance?
I feel at this stage that it is not necessary to pursue any training avenues.
Gees....thats a bit of a loaded question!
Do you ‘train’ to be a wife??

How do you rate your attitude to work?
I have a positive attitude towards my current role and am committed to the common goals we share in our life moving forward.
I have a great attitude. Although sometimes things just get the better of me and I so can’t be bothered. That would be why living room desperately needs to be tidied!

Do you feel you are part of a team? If so, why? If not, why?
I receive continual affirmation of my partner’s commitment and hope for the future which very much engenders the spirit of partnership between us.
Well we have our money in the same bank account, we live in the same house, we have the rings, I get someone to whinge to any time I want...Yep, feels like a team to me :-).

Are you comfortable with the office environment? Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Our shared accommodation is such that it fulfils all our needs for the present however small improvements for comfort and aesthetic design would be welcome.
I still kind of want a rug for the living area. The whole room just looks a little grey and concretey.

How do you rate your work output? Do you have too much or too little work to do?
I believe I actively contribute to the smooth running of the house and partnership and this is achieved to the satisfaction of all parties involved.
It is always a good idea to give us warning if you want to invite us out or drop around to catch up. Chances are, we haven’t psyched ourselves up to be social or put away the washing that has been ‘drying’ there for days. If needs be though, we can definitely get right on it.

Is there any kind of work in which you think you would be happier or more effective, either in your current position or elsewhere?
I feel as though I have room for growth in my current role and am completely satisfied to pursue my future in this direction.
Well I am still waiting for The Boy to support me in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed and I think I could quite happily be a more stereotypical Lady Of The House....

Is the company leadership adequate? And even if it is, how can it be improved do you think?
In our relationship, decisions are made jointly and often timely with little disruption to either party. As such, I would consider the leadership to be more than adequate.
We’ve all seen that movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, yes? You know that bit - the man, he is the head of the family but the woman, she is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants...? I do not think you can improve on perfection!

Are communication channels adequate? Are there areas where communication can be improved?
I believe that communication is actively encourage and facilitated within our relationship to the benefit of both parties.
We’re really good at trying to communicate with each other. Communication is not a problem. Sometimes the understanding part is a bit of a struggle for both of us...

Does management understand your role? Are they sympathetic to your needs and problems?
I believe that both my partner and I have a clear understanding of our individual roles and seek to work together and compromise to ensure the ongoing positive nature of the relationship.
We try not to butt heads as much as possible, it always seems to result in a headache and neither of us are particularly friendly when we’re getting in each other’s way.

Looking ahead to the future, what would you like to be doing 2 years from now?
With the common goals of family and a fulfilling career, we would like to be in a position of comfort and security.
Hmmm...barefoot and pregnant? Nah, just kidding. I can wait more time for that.

Are you fulfilled in your work? Are there things that will make you more fulfilled?
As in any relationship, there will be times in which you experience growing pains however I believe that the end will justify the means as we strive towards common goals.
Doing the washing and scrubbing the bathroom really doesn’t do it for me but the clean house is kinda nice...

What would you like by way of rewards (realistically!)?
I would hope for the continued support and encouragement moving forward.
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

Now there was no point in trying to answer all 29 questions that I was given by work because as I said, the answers would start to sound a bit repetitive after a while. And I know this really doesn’t have a lot to do with the wedding planning but it did make me sit and think a bit about the way The Boy and I are together which basically allows him to plan the wedding and me to offer him all the encouragement in the world to do so. It wasn’t as easy as I thought to come up with some of the responses to those questions either. Although I must say that it did go a lot faster than doing the ones for work!

Picture Perfect

It was make-up time at the end of last week in the house of pre-nuptial bliss. Although not in the sense that I was required to make up to my other half. I’m sure there were transgressions for which I’m pretty sure I did apologise however, namely being a moody witch or something to that effect. But I digress. I did not need to make up with The Boy but was, as it were, made up for him instead. Once again I attended a Bless The Bride Expo (which, as I have previously written, worked out so well for me the last time) and got suckered in by the free stuff which led to a makeup trial at my house on Friday night.

It always reminds me at times like these how much I quite like looking polished and put together. You know, to sort of feel glamorous like a red carpet actress or a catwalk model. This is then followed in about 5 minutes however by the realisation that I probably look more like a Kmart model or a commercial extra and the reason I hardly ever wear a complete face of makeup is because I quite detest the feeling of having it all over my face. Oh well. It is unfortunately something that is largely unavoidable for a wedding. Especially if you’re the bride. So I will well and truly have to suck it up because not only will I be required to have the stuff pancaked on but I will be required to leave it there all day long!

The lady that actually came and did the trial was really nice. She was very friendly and open to just trying things to see if they worked. Which would be a plus really because what we ended up with didn’t really work at all. I think I looked like a bit of a scare bear by the end of it. Green may be my colour but envious of having that particular shade in my eye shadow palette I was not. I think I might be better off going back to the original warm tones idea that I had a while ago when talking to a friend who also does makeup.

I have been blessed in my friends that not only are they all awesome people but one of them has even offered to do a make-up trial for me before the wedding and if we find something that works, to help me out on the day as well. Coordinating timetables at the moment has been a bit of an issue so I figured it couldn’t hurt if I had more of an idea about what I wanted before we sat down. Of course, careful planning and consideration don’t exactly minimise the potential for the Panda Effect which is usually the look I end up with whenever I take that much makeup off my face but it does help to have an aforementioned goal before it gets put on my face. And maybe when we look into my make-up next time, we should look into The Boy’s as well. As much as I want to look great in my wedding photos, I don’t want to look like I’m marrying my own personal ghost and they do say that a problem shared is a problem halved. If I have to suffer for art then he may as well too.