Inviting Dr Seuss

Back when we were doing the Prepare worksheet with the Reverend, we also went through the order of service. When he got to the part about the vows, he mentioned that instead of the traditional vows (you know, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer etc), we had the option of writing our own. The Boy was actually quite a fan of this. He thought it would be far more meaningful I guess if we were to speak our own vows inside the church. I on the other hand was not so keen.

Part of the reason for this is that in some respects, I’m quite traditional and if it ain’t broke, why fix it? People have been saying those words for hundreds of years so why do they need to be rewritten now? My other issue is that for such an important occasion, I don’t know whether I could even come up with something that I liked which didn’t sound cloying and twee. When I think about writing my own vows I get flashbacks to this scene in the tv drama Seachange (great show) where the main character is struggling and after what you are led to believe is quite a while, only comes up with “I greatly esteem him”. Or something like that. Of course she was actually in love with someone else at the time which is definitely not the case here but still, the whole self writing of the vows thing...

The other thought that sticks is my head is that as much as people write their own vows so that they can put what they want in there, I also know they do it so they can take what they don’t like out. Perhaps because of the divorce rate sky rocketing over the last couple of decades, there has been a trend for couples to drop the “Till death do us part” bit because they are anxious about making that vow in a church. I have actually seen it changed to a promise to keep faith “as long as the love shall last” which seems rather non-committal to me. But different horses for different courses I guess. I happen to prefer the traditional version myself. Of course, if you were going to do your own, you could always have a little fun with it...

Now I must admit I didn’t write all this. I pinched the Groom’s part somewhere on the net that said a Marty Blase wrote it. I changed a couple of words to make it flow better though and added the Bride’s part cause really, whats the point in having only one half? I’m not too sure that Dr Seuss wedding vows will make it into too many ceremonies but the idea does amuse me.

For the bride , do you agree
To answer me quite truthfully

Yes I’m sure I do agree
To answer you quite truthfully

Will you take this man to wed
Into your heart and in your bed
Will you love him through and through
Both when he smiles and when he’s blue

Yes I’ll take this man to wed
Into my heart and in my bed
And I will love him through and through
Both when he smiles and when he’s blue

Will you stay when times are tough
If in your purse theres not enough
Will you be there should illness call
From this day forth, to give your all

Yes I’ll stay when times are tough
If in our purse theres not enough
I will be there should illness call
From this day forth, I give my all
For I do take this man to wed
Into my heart and in my bed
And I will love him through and through
Both when he smiles and when he’s blue

Then if you swear you will stay true
To these here vows please say

I DO

Will you sir answer me right now

These questions, as your wedding vow?

Yes, I’ll answer you right now

Your questions as my wedding vow.

Will you take her as your wife?

Will you love her all your life?

Yes, I take her as my wife,

Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Will you have, and also hold

Just as you have at this time told?

Yes, I will have, and I will hold,

Just as I have at this time told,

Yes, I will love her all my life

As I now take her as my wife.

Will you love through good and bad?

Be you either glad or sad?

Yes, I'll love through good and bad,

Be we either glad or sad,

Yes, I will have and I will hold

Just as I have already told,

Yes, I will love her all my life,

Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Will you love her if you're rich?

Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,

And I will love her in a ditch,

I'll love her through good times and bad,

Be we either glad or sad,

Yes, I will have, and I will hold

(I could have sworn this has been told!)

I promise to love all my life

This woman, as my lawful wife!

Will you love her when you're fit,

And also when you're feeling sick?

Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,

And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,

And I will love her when we're rich

And I will love her in a ditch

And I will love through good and bad,

And I will love when glad or sad,

And I will have, and I will hold

Ten years from now a thousandfold,

Yes, I will love for my whole life

This lovely woman as my wife!

Will you love with all your heart?

Will you love till death you part?

Yes, I'll love with all my heart

From now until death do us part,

And I will love her when we're rich,

And when we're broke and in a ditch,

And when we're fit, and when we're sick,

(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)

And I will love through good and bad,

And I will love when glad or sad,

And I will have, and I will hold,

And if I might now be so bold,

I'll love her my entire life,

Yes, I WILL take her to wife!

Then if you'll take her as your wife,

And if you'll love her all your life,

And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,

From now until the stars grow cold,

And if you'll love through good and bad,

And be you either glad or sad,

And love in sickness, and in health,

And when you're poor, and when in wealth,

And if you'll love with all your heart,

From now until death do you part,

Yes, if you'll love her through and through,

Please answer with these words:

I DO!

You're married now! So kiss the bride,

But please, do keep it dignified.

And to this sound advice adhere,

When you’re in doubt just say “yes dear”.