Drunken Musings

The following conversations have amused me for various reasons. I just thought I’d also point out though, that since they occurred whilst I was admittedly under the influence, I may have actually gotten them wrong.

(with a best friend’s boyfriend - who is definitely committed to his girlfriend):
Now Gauchegirl, you know you’re a very attractive young lady…
Well I’m flattered you think so.
No, you are. I mean you’re hot. Really.
Well thankyou then.
You must get heaps of guys after you.
Well I guess I don’t do that badly but I definitely wouldn’t say I get heaps of guys.
Would you say that you know when guys are interested though?
When its so obvious you could hit me over the head with it, yeah. Otherwise I pretty much don’t have a clue.
Really?
Why?
Well what would you do when you’re not interested?
Depends, if they haven’t actually said anything, I’d probably try to discourage them. I hate feeling awkward so if I get unwanted attention I'd probably head in the opposite direction.
So you’re not interested in going out with anyone?
I didn’t say that.
So you are.
Up to a point. But to be honest, I’m not sure I’d know what to do with a guy if I did have one.
Are you serious?
Only in the figurative sense.

(with one of my girlfriends):
Gauchegirl, I’m really drunk.
I know honey, me too.
No you’re not, you can walk straight.
Well yes. You can’t though, you need to sit down.
Why does my life always turn out like this?
You skulling a Black Death followed by a beer chaser?
No. Still single. I want Tony.
Well maybe it just wasn’t meant to work out...
Well if I can’t have Tony, can I have Jay?
No. It doesn’t work like that.
Why not?
Because it doesn’t.
Can’t I just kiss him?
No.
Why not?
Do you trust me?
Yes.
Because it’s a really bad idea and you’ll regret it tomorrow.
Oh, ok.

(with a random):
I’ve been told I’m a very well behaved drunk.
What are you like when you’re drunk?
I flirt and I smile a lot.
So are you there now?
What do you think?
I think you’re flirting with me.
You’re sharp as a tack, you know that?
And good looking too.
Not to mention modest.
I think we could have fun together.
Well you certainly might make an interesting chapter in my autobiography.
I’m flattered.
You should be. You started off as a footnote.