Dumped And Dangerous

According to some, the only way to get over a man is to get under a man. When a relationship ends badly however, that may be the last thing on your mind. Your first impulse may be to wallow in self-pity and drown your sorrows in a bottle of wine and a box of tissues. If so, there are some helpful tips out there of which you may wish to take note.

The first is try to avoid sharp objects in a highly emotional state as you may only end up hurting yourself. The extension of this is of course to avoid taking your frustrations out physically on things that are stronger than you are. It always ends in pain. Doors and fences really don’t give a lot and walls will need replastering. It is also advisable not to hold ritual burnings of reminders anywhere that may threaten your house or leave you suffering from smoke inhalation either. No man should ever be worth that.

Another thing to keep in mind if you’re still hung up on your ex is actually not to communicate with him. Do not ring him to talk to him. Do not ring him and hang up - from your phone or from someone else’s. Do not continually leave messages on his answering service. Don’t email, fax or page him. And while you’re at it, don’t see him either. A restraining order does not mean he secretly cares for you and racking up your phone bill is a waste of money. Of course, as a dumpee if revenge is more your style, then it’s a whole different ball game.

It’s almost scary that there is actually advice out there on this topic. There are those who are more than happy to provide a string of suggestions from manipulation tactics to placing raw fish in his hubcaps and steering column. And then there are those who are really devious. According to Revenge Lady however, there are rules (or guidelines really) that should be followed. At the same time as she advocates being creative and having fun she states that you should never break the law. Karma is a good thing and revenge is excellent self-therapy but you should not perpetrate anything that will come and bite you on the backside later. She does suggest though, that you should cover your tracks well if there’s something of which you’re not exactly proud.

Apparently there is an art to revenge, ensuring that the punishment does in fact fit the crime and does not exceed it in severity. I have heard that the ‘suffering should be equal to the depth and diabolicalness of their transgressions’ but that revenge should not be used to simply get back at someone because a relationship has ended. So whether its masochism or sadism on your mind when a relationship has gone sour, you should remember ‘safety first’ so you don’t end up joining the ranks of the dumped and dangerous. Its quite unattractive. Not to mention scary.