The Bride Stripped Bare

I have recently finished re-reading The Bride Stripped Bare, as I have wanted to visit this work again for a while now. And I must say, I think I found the novel as disturbing in places as I did last time. At the same time however, I should also say that I saw several parts of it somewhat differently. It still bothers me that I can see myself in some of the aspects of the book that I consider to be unflattering but I can no longer identify with the main character to the same extent as I did before. Distance has not in this case made the heart grow fonder but instead has offered a new perspective.

This time I can see more of the love, consideration and compromise provided by the protagonist. I am also not as offended by her marriage and the way she lives within it. She seems this time less selfish, bitchy and deceitful than she did before as perhaps the shades of grey have come to surface over the black and the white. I still don’t agree with some of her decisions and rationalisations however. Infidelity is not something I approve of or take lightly and I think she invited a lot of the problems she encountered with a wide welcome as opposed to inadvertently causing them. Things are of course, rarely seen with any objectivity from inside a situation.

I can definitely understand why the author wanted to publish under the pseudonym of anonymous. Although fictional for the most part, this unvarnished account of a woman inside a relationship is occasionally brutally honest and shows perhaps how easy some women find it to say one thing and think another. How a woman might choose to be what you want her to be without really being who she is and how a woman could endure a partner as he is whilst wishing he were something else entirely. No one wants to merely settle for someone else or to believe that someone has settled for them and I think its scary to realise that you might not know until its too late.

On the other hand, it may sound corny but I find this book as beautiful in places as I find it sad and haunting. Its short sentences and chapters are often poetic and simple. The words giving voice to thoughts and feelings some women wouldn’t dare to talk about and the images resonating with those of us who have ever wondered about our relationships. I think it illustrates the struggle a lot of women have trying to identify themselves as wife, mistress and mother and how some women seem to lose themselves in the process occasionally. It’s a bit frightening to think that you might end up looking at your life and being resigned to the fact that it is as good as its going to get. Its also nice however to think that if you can communicate, happiness is there for the taking.