Questions

So I have been asked a lot recently what it is that I have to offer. Where it is that I feel my strengths lie and also perhaps what my weaknesses might be. What are my values, what do various things mean to me and what is it that I can contribute to any new relationship. To a certain extent, these are things that you can quantify but I also think that there is a certain element where someone is either on your wavelength or they’re not. I can tell you the core values which I ask for in others are those that I feel I am prepared to demonstrate myself. I don’t really know however if other people see it that way.

When you go for a new job, at some point in time, references come into play. People want to ask questions to those who already know you, perhaps to get a sense of whether what they see is really what they’re likely to get. When you become involved in a personal relationship however, an awful lot more is left up to chance. Which is a good thing really because I’m not sure I’d want people interviewing my ex-boyfriends or anything like that. I’m really not sure what they’d have to say. But given that in some situations I personally am all that someone has to go off, how do I see myself? What do I let other people see?

Somebody once asked me to give them three reasons why they might want to get to know me. I really had to think about that one. I mean I could say I’m pretty honest or a good listener but so what? I could say I like doing creative things but I am neither a true musician nor gifted artist and that answer too seemed somewhat lacking. In the end I came up with things that I liked about myself and that were more or less a part of my day to day life. I said I will listen to an entire song for one bar of music, one of my greatest joys in life is to make my sister laugh so hard she cries and I will do just about anything for a friend.

I have been told that I am not an easy person to get to know and I guess I would believe that. I’m working on it not being the case but its still an accurate description for now. As to how I would describe myself though, well packet-mix queen has been used before as I maintain there’s nothing in the kitchen I can’t do without one. The Peddler of S&P’s would be another for as much as I willingly engage in Deep & Meaningfuls, the Shallow & Pointless can enthral me for hours. I tend to berate myself (and others whom I feel are worthy) in German and believe that British humour is a true art form. Does this give anyone a clear picture though? Not at all.

I don’t really know where I was going with this. I seem to have come nowhere but managed to meander there slowly. I guess when you look at anything new, you maybe comprehend part of the broader picture first. You get your head around what you can, using points of reference to help guide you or to help you keep your balance. The further you pursue anything or anyone though, the more you rely and rest upon all the little details that are there. I’ve been asked questions of late and I’ve had to answer all of them as best I can. Those answers in one sense are inadequate but then again, they might just make the difference that will affect the future.

Sweet Dreams

Do you ever get the feeling as though you may have talked yourself into something that you’re not at all sure you want? I’ve been thinking about this recently. Just the other day, I had my fourth job interview in about a month. Sure most of them were actually internal (of which I will be offered one) and I wasn’t terribly concerned about them to start with, but now I’m starting to second-guess a few things. As the interviews progressed I got better at defining what my qualities are and what it is that I can bring to the table. By the last interview I was pretty relaxed, giving clear and concise answers and I probably appeared eminently employable. The last interview however, was for the job that I want the least.

And I mention all this because in a round about way it relates to a few dreams I had over the weekend. Sort of. On Friday night, after the rapid consumption of a bottle of red and no dinner, I had about enough smarts to get myself home on public transport and into a position where I could just fall onto my bed. It was here that I stayed for many hours, not quite passed out but drifting in and out of lucid dreams that quite frankly freaked me out a bit. The one I remember most was where a person that I used to know proposed to me. Obviously I had weddings and such on the mind this weekend. I don’t remember saying ‘yes’ but I remember taking a photo of us (myself wearing the ring) by holding my camera out at arms length. I also remember not actually being engaged but being worried that the person would see I’d kept the photo and read something more into it.

I remember the ring had pearls as opposed to stones and well, it was just all a bit weird really. Probably not as weird as some of my other dreams of course as there were no cats acting as midwives and translating seal talk to humans largely by writing on bread (if anyone knows what this is supposed to signify, please enlighten me because I would not have the foggiest!!), but weird nonetheless. Perhaps more so because I dreamt I was actually married to someone I don’t know that well the night after and I was absolutely fine with that. Quite happy about it in fact. I think. The longer it is since I have a dream, the more it tends to blend into others somehow. As a window to the subconscious though, I do wonder if they’re trying to tell me something.

The animal one is possibly trying to tell me I have some really weird issues that will potentially result in the need for expensive therapy. It was just wrong on so many levels not least of which is the fact that cats don’t have opposable thumbs so how could they write? On the more serious side though, that feeling like maybe I hadn’t acted entirely in my own best interests, that I had inadvertently gotten myself into a situation I would not have chosen was enough to shake me. Maybe I need to be more assertive now in order to get what I want. Maybe I need to grow and learn from my past experiences to make a better future. Then again, maybe I just need a good nights sleep and to not go so hard on red wine.

This week I’m waiting to see how my career might pan out in the fairly immediate future but next week I might wake up to find that with groundwork that I have put in so far, I will have just what I wanted. Right now I’m single, later on, who knows.

A Year And A Day

Well having been rather slack over the past few days, I did not get around to posting (or even finishing) something I started on Friday. In the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t make a really big difference, but now the whole ‘year and a day’ thing is more like a year and a few days which just sounds kinda silly, and what I originally mentioned as a future event, has now passed. Although I have had to re-write a few things however, they weren’t actually what the post was about anyway. That having been said…

About a year ago, I (rather glibly in fact), announced that I was going to be married within a year. I had read a book that assured me this was possible if I followed certain steps and since the idea entertained me, I figured I had nothing to lose. So I duly noted down my ‘deal breakers’, what I wanted out of a relationship and a list of the values I expected my future partner to possess. ‘The Marriage Plan’ asserted that everything would workout within the timeframe I’d set, if I just put my mind to it. Which I didn’t. This would probably explain why I’m not at all married now. I did actually attend a wedding this weekend – but it wasn’t mine. I was reminded though, especially given all the comments I’ve read elsewhere about checklists recently, of that list that I had made.

In order not to seem too demanding I guess, the desired values had been narrowed down to five. In perhaps the true fashion of a female however, I made them encompass everything else I wanted as well. In another post I mentioned two of these values, being integrity and loyalty, but the last three were generosity, intimacy and ambition. Coming back to them now, I think generosity and intimacy were somewhat linked in my head. I understood them to represent a person who was prepared to give of themselves, both emotionally and physically but also a person who would seek to bring that spirit out in their partner and forge a steadfast bond. Someone who was willing to commit time and energy to a relationship on an ongoing basis.

Within the value of ambition, I envisaged someone who would always be open to broadening their horizons and who truly believed that people never stop learning in both the public and the private arena. Unlike the more traditional connotations of the word, this was not about wanting either wealth or a great career (although there is nothing wrong with either of those in and of themselves). I thought I wanted to be with someone who did not merely settle in a constant routine but would seek challenges and new experiences, in and outside of the home. At least up to a point. I will be honest and say that for me, the thought of living out of a backpack for a couple of months on end is not exactly thrilling but I’d love to have someone come overseas with me for a while.

Now I honestly have no idea what other people think when they read this. Does it all sound naïve? Does it sound selfish? Does it seem like a good starting off point? As I come back to what I wrote myself, I wonder would I change or add anything. In addition to the above, I happily asserted a year ago that I would not give up any of my friends nor financial control over my life and that I would not be with a smoker. I’ve also said a lot of other things in my time as well though. Maybe, right now, I just think that relationships are about checks and balances. You might be able to find most of the things you want but will have to ask for those others that you need. In return you may be required to offer something new as well. In the end, you must decide if its worth it.

I once heard marriage described as the relationship between a man and a woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. I think if I could find that it would be worth it. Well, as long as they had an appreciation for sarcastic wit and they could truly make me laugh.

Perfection?

Well after having read the SMH forum today on what men really want, I’d have to say I now have a pretty good grasp on it. And its as simple as this: Men want women to be women. Not women pretending to be men but REAL women. The kind that will embrace their feminine side with open arms and be the epitome of grace and strength. The kind of person that will fit into any crowd, adapt to any situation and be a helpmeet to their partner. Someone who can be the perfect complement to a real man without losing her sense of self.

A woman for example, will understand her partner’s need for personal time. She will not have a problem if he goes off with the boys to do manly things, but likewise she will fit in with them and be the perfect hostess should they all come round to watch footy or tinker with the car. She will be able to converse knowledgably on sports or technology, however, she would never be so uncouth as to show the same level of fanaticism for these topics as her partner. Nor would she swear, carouse, smoke, exhibit loutish behaviour or drink to excess even though she should be able to imbibe just as much as the boys should the occasion call for it.

A real woman will have class and poise no matter what situation she is in. She will not be prissy about getting her hands a little dirty if hard work is required throughout her day. She will be able to step into an evening gown the same evening however, and impress anyone she comes into contact with. She will dress like she loves her body, not like she is merely trying to show it off and she will have both beauty and style whilst never being ostentatious. She will be sexy without being sluttish and will have no need to either cake on the makeup or drown herself in scent. Quite simply put, she will be extremely attractive.

The perfect woman has just the right blend of strength and vulnerability. She will be assertive, driven and confident but never superior, controlling or uncompromising. With both honour and integrity, she will not put up with less than is her due but she will be considerate and compassionate in her dealings with others. She will never nag and be shrewish but will only offer constructive criticisms where necessary and work towards mutually desired outcomes. Positive, easy-going and patient are all words that could describe this woman.

Independent and affectionate are also words that she will strive to embody. Whilst having her own hopes and dreams she will be endowed with the intelligence to achieve them on her own and the wisdom to include her partner. She would not be clingy or suffocating in this relationship however, but supportive, nurturing and when it comes to the physical side, sensual, generous and comfortable enough to initiate intimacy. She would communicate easily and clearly, never expecting her mind to be read and would be forgiving and loyal without fault.

It must also be said that she should be a stable person, not given to bouts of insecurity or obsessive compulsive behaviour. She would not be materialistic or preoccupied with popular culture and neither overly judgmental nor possessing double standards. With tolerance, honesty, empathy, wit and just a little bit of sass, she would be a treasure beyond all price. Such a woman could look after herself but would let a man do it as well. And if that isn’t enough, she should be able to cook sumptuous meals, clean away the hardest stains, go hiking off the beaten track, raise angelic children, fill out a TAB ticket and manage the household budget with flair all whilst just being herself.

Who knew it was that simple!

Tips For Investors

In today’s fast paced world, it is not only money but also time that has become a precious commodity. Knowing how to spend both wisely and to the best effect is something that every Sydney Metrosexual should know in order to maximise all the available opportunities. In ‘love’ as in life, maintaining your best interests should be uppermost in your mind. Getting a low return for your investment is never going to be a priority in business so why would it be in a relationship? In order to secure your success however, one should always have one eye on the big picture. The following are some tips and tricks to be aware of in order to ensure that you remain at an advantage in the competitive marketplace.

Whether you are talking about a Certificate of Deposit or a Casual Date, one should always be aware of when the CD matures. People who are successful in life are often those who plan and have goals. They enter into things well advised and rarely indefinitely. Understanding the terms of your CD in advance is common sense. As such, you should also investigate any call features. If the issuing party reserves the right to ‘call’ or terminate the CD due to falling interest rates for example, you may find yourself having to shop for a new one with a lower rate of return. It is important therefore to understand the difference between call features and maturity in order to accurately assess both the risk and potential reward for this type of investment.

Another word of advice when considering the acquisition of a CD is to research any penalties for early withdrawal. Whilst this may not seem like a possibility at the outset, there may be external factors that will later affect your decision. The consequences of such a decision might involve heavy losses in one form or another or serious repercussions that could compromise your ability to achieve future success. To be forewarned is to be forearmed as they say so when shopping for the right CD it is beneficial to thoroughly check out the broker. The Sydney Bank of Pretentious Princesses and Posers for example, although offering seemingly attractive packages, may not be able to offer viable options for the discerning investor.

Once you have identified an opportunity that you wish to pursue however, you should confirm the interest rate you’ll receive and how you’ll be paid. In any negotiation or business arrangement, it is essential that both parties are fully aware of the conditions involved in fulfilling the contract. Any variables should noted prior to commitment so it is wise to enquire whether the interest rate ever changes. All these tips are designed to prevent a negative result on any potential investments and the more they are taken to heart the more ingrained they should become. Of course, there are traps for the unwary but if you are astute and calculating in your decision making process, you will not be taken in by imitations.

As a basic rule of thumb, don’t buy stocks or other investments pitched to you over the telephone and be suspicious if a salesperson promises a spectacular rate of return. A CD is generally considered a low-risk investment however one should always be aware of the full ramifications of a decision involving cherished time and money. CD’s also have the added advantage of possible reinvestment at a later date. Once maturity has been reached, it may be attractive to enter into such an agreement again although as many seasoned investors will tell you never put all your eggs in one basket.