Sweet Dreams

Do you ever get the feeling as though you may have talked yourself into something that you’re not at all sure you want? I’ve been thinking about this recently. Just the other day, I had my fourth job interview in about a month. Sure most of them were actually internal (of which I will be offered one) and I wasn’t terribly concerned about them to start with, but now I’m starting to second-guess a few things. As the interviews progressed I got better at defining what my qualities are and what it is that I can bring to the table. By the last interview I was pretty relaxed, giving clear and concise answers and I probably appeared eminently employable. The last interview however, was for the job that I want the least.

And I mention all this because in a round about way it relates to a few dreams I had over the weekend. Sort of. On Friday night, after the rapid consumption of a bottle of red and no dinner, I had about enough smarts to get myself home on public transport and into a position where I could just fall onto my bed. It was here that I stayed for many hours, not quite passed out but drifting in and out of lucid dreams that quite frankly freaked me out a bit. The one I remember most was where a person that I used to know proposed to me. Obviously I had weddings and such on the mind this weekend. I don’t remember saying ‘yes’ but I remember taking a photo of us (myself wearing the ring) by holding my camera out at arms length. I also remember not actually being engaged but being worried that the person would see I’d kept the photo and read something more into it.

I remember the ring had pearls as opposed to stones and well, it was just all a bit weird really. Probably not as weird as some of my other dreams of course as there were no cats acting as midwives and translating seal talk to humans largely by writing on bread (if anyone knows what this is supposed to signify, please enlighten me because I would not have the foggiest!!), but weird nonetheless. Perhaps more so because I dreamt I was actually married to someone I don’t know that well the night after and I was absolutely fine with that. Quite happy about it in fact. I think. The longer it is since I have a dream, the more it tends to blend into others somehow. As a window to the subconscious though, I do wonder if they’re trying to tell me something.

The animal one is possibly trying to tell me I have some really weird issues that will potentially result in the need for expensive therapy. It was just wrong on so many levels not least of which is the fact that cats don’t have opposable thumbs so how could they write? On the more serious side though, that feeling like maybe I hadn’t acted entirely in my own best interests, that I had inadvertently gotten myself into a situation I would not have chosen was enough to shake me. Maybe I need to be more assertive now in order to get what I want. Maybe I need to grow and learn from my past experiences to make a better future. Then again, maybe I just need a good nights sleep and to not go so hard on red wine.

This week I’m waiting to see how my career might pan out in the fairly immediate future but next week I might wake up to find that with groundwork that I have put in so far, I will have just what I wanted. Right now I’m single, later on, who knows.