Questions

So I have been asked a lot recently what it is that I have to offer. Where it is that I feel my strengths lie and also perhaps what my weaknesses might be. What are my values, what do various things mean to me and what is it that I can contribute to any new relationship. To a certain extent, these are things that you can quantify but I also think that there is a certain element where someone is either on your wavelength or they’re not. I can tell you the core values which I ask for in others are those that I feel I am prepared to demonstrate myself. I don’t really know however if other people see it that way.

When you go for a new job, at some point in time, references come into play. People want to ask questions to those who already know you, perhaps to get a sense of whether what they see is really what they’re likely to get. When you become involved in a personal relationship however, an awful lot more is left up to chance. Which is a good thing really because I’m not sure I’d want people interviewing my ex-boyfriends or anything like that. I’m really not sure what they’d have to say. But given that in some situations I personally am all that someone has to go off, how do I see myself? What do I let other people see?

Somebody once asked me to give them three reasons why they might want to get to know me. I really had to think about that one. I mean I could say I’m pretty honest or a good listener but so what? I could say I like doing creative things but I am neither a true musician nor gifted artist and that answer too seemed somewhat lacking. In the end I came up with things that I liked about myself and that were more or less a part of my day to day life. I said I will listen to an entire song for one bar of music, one of my greatest joys in life is to make my sister laugh so hard she cries and I will do just about anything for a friend.

I have been told that I am not an easy person to get to know and I guess I would believe that. I’m working on it not being the case but its still an accurate description for now. As to how I would describe myself though, well packet-mix queen has been used before as I maintain there’s nothing in the kitchen I can’t do without one. The Peddler of S&P’s would be another for as much as I willingly engage in Deep & Meaningfuls, the Shallow & Pointless can enthral me for hours. I tend to berate myself (and others whom I feel are worthy) in German and believe that British humour is a true art form. Does this give anyone a clear picture though? Not at all.

I don’t really know where I was going with this. I seem to have come nowhere but managed to meander there slowly. I guess when you look at anything new, you maybe comprehend part of the broader picture first. You get your head around what you can, using points of reference to help guide you or to help you keep your balance. The further you pursue anything or anyone though, the more you rely and rest upon all the little details that are there. I’ve been asked questions of late and I’ve had to answer all of them as best I can. Those answers in one sense are inadequate but then again, they might just make the difference that will affect the future.