Update

After having previously posted on my current employment situation – or potential lack thereof – I thought that maybe an update was in order. Although its not really much of an update. Basically I will be made redundant in about five months. I was unsuccessful in securing a position in which I had interest and will now have to go through the motions of starting again. On the whole I think I’m happy about that. It seems this year is shaping up to be one in which I am learning new things about myself. And this is sort of as scary as it is exciting at times really. I don’t think I’m growing up so much as growing into myself though (however, when I read this in another couple of years, I’m sure I will either find that totally embarrassing or quite hilarious).

Anyway, this week has been one where I have been pondering on a few things. One of those is the depressing knowledge that I’m really not as funny as I’d like to think I am. Everyone else has known this for a while of course but it has come to my attention recently that some people who do know me personally actually are reading this site. I have to ask why? I can certainly think of better things to do. I always had in my mind the image of a witty commentary on modern dating life and even though I’m pretty sure I have mostly fallen short of that, I did used to find myself amusing at least. Sad, I know. I seem to have misplaced my mojo somewhere along the way however, has anyone seen it?

Another thing that has crossed my mind this week is how annoying I can be to get to know. Hallelujah, I can hear some people say – although I must point out I didn’t say I really knew what to do about it. I have been thinking however that it is rather frustrating to be around people that you just can’t read and then it kind of struck me how guarded I can be. Some people build walls around themselves that may as well be covered with neon signs that flash ‘go away, I don’t want you here’ but other people have walls that appear suddenly and seem to curve around to a gate which is inevitably shut and bears a sign at head height which reads ‘you’re not going to get in here today’.

And whilst I’m on somewhat random topics, I was also thinking about how over looking for a relationship I am (I’m sure there was a more grammatically correct way to say that too but you know what I mean). Yes, I know that you can’t really go looking for something like that anyway and no, I was never really looking for one in the first place but I think I always sort of had half an eye on it. I’m not saying that I don’t want one or wouldn’t get married and settle down if the right opportunity came along but I guess I’m saying that I’m also happy being single at the moment. I’m getting the hang of not waiting for my life to happen which can only be a good thing. Although now its time for sleep to happen I think so that’s enough of an update for now.