Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Do you know what’s more stupid that liking someone you shouldn’t? Not liking someone who doesn’t want you to like them. Or rather, not liking them when they are afraid that you do. All it takes is a throw away comment or one little idea in their head and they’ve built up a whole scenario where you are pining silently away whilst trying to insinuate yourself into their life at every opportunity and pressuring them to feel something that they don’t. A scenario that, as it happens, is completely erronous. It could all be sorted out with one conversation where you no doubt laugh over crossed wires of course but that would just take the saga out of it.

Even if you’ve not seen that classic movie When Harry Met Sally, I’m sure you have all heard the phrase ‘men and women can’t be friends cause the sex part always gets in the way’. And this situation would be no exception. Even when it shouldn’t be in the way cause neither side are particularly intent on pursuing it, its still in the way. So where does that leave the ‘friendship’ you had before the ‘situation’? Unfortunately on a rocky footing. It has been my experience at least that men are made incredibly uncomfortable when faced with the prospect of not being able to return feelings. It has also been my experience that men withdraw and become somewhat quieter when they are uncomfortable.

In this sort of scenario, there appears to be a whole new level to the label of the strong, silent type. It seems that there is less joking around and less hanging out lest you actually get the wrong idea and start pinning hopes on an impossible dream. Now I would say that I wish for all my unattached male friends to go out and find themselves a partner. I want for them to be happy of course and there would hopefully be the added bonus that they would no longer be concerned with the idea that I might be after them. It is a bit of a catch-22 though. If they did have a partner, they would probably not be concerned that I wanted more than friendship but by the same token, they would also probably not have the time or inclination to just hang out anyway.

Now you might be wondering why I don’t just say something if I think others may be getting the wrong idea and if so, you would definitely have a point. I have to confess a few things here though. One is that over the years I have developed a talent for being completely oblivious to certain things. I have in fact totally missed this situation in the past. Any moments of insightfulness I may experience are usually reserved for other people. The other thing is that I seem to possess a couple of the stereotypically ‘male’ traits. I am not particularly enamoured of discussing my feelings and hey, I don’t particularly want to be the one to put the idea out there either – what if I’m wrong? Its entirely possible that I’m doing the ‘female’ thing and overanalysing something.

My male friends may just not feel like talking to me which I can actually understand cause even I think too much of me is a bad thing at times.