Under The Thumb

Now that I have started my next role, I have a new set of contact details to pass out to friends and family. As always, there is the initial blanket email that goes out advising everyone of my address and phone number change. For some people, this will be the first time I have contacted them in months (I am not the most conscientious of correspondents at times – so sue me) and for others this will make up a small part of regular contact. And once again I have found that this has little to do with who will reply and who will not. Apart from those I know that are lazy sods and can’t be bothered to write back however (you know who you are), there are also perhaps one or two people who may not actually be allowed to respond.

That’s right, my stunning wit and beauty is enough to sway even the most devoted heart (via email no less) away from their current and better half. Ladies, there is a definite danger that once a male has been inside my circle of friendship, he will continually be drawn like a moth to the flame and be consumed by the drug that is moi. If a clean and complete break is not enforced then the individual may be lost forever. Duh! Now I think its perfectly obvious that I was just being sarcastic and that I don’t believe anyone should be told they are not allowed to talk to me. I do know however that there are women who obviously feel the most appropriate place for their partner is completely under their thumb. I can’t imagine that this would be particularly enjoyable for either party though.

I’d like to say that one of the last things I’d want in a relationship is to be someone’s keeper. It shouldn’t be my job to make their decisions for them, its not even my right. Sure, I would hope that my partner would consider my feelings. I confess I would definitely prefer that anyone I was dating did not go out with a different female friend every night of the week. I would never ask them to stay away from someone though. I would also not ask that they never did anything without me. There was a bit of a joke at my old office that some people required Leave Passes in order to attend nights out. I thought these were amusing, basically cause I didn’t take them seriously – courtesy is one thing, control is another. As far as I’m concerned, I should be able to trust my partner. Even when I’m not around.

It is important to spend quality time together in any relationship of course but I have always considered that this should not actually be 24/7. I don’t know about you, but occasionally I need a little time out. Being with one person constantly is just claustrophobic not to mention exhausting. A friend of mine once complained that things weren’t going so well with her boyfriend at the same time she described a situation in which she had altered her previously diverse schedule to spend all her free time with him. The way I figure it, that’s asking for trouble. If someone likes you for who you are, they like that you have your own interests outside of the relationship. Its great to have things in common just as it can be an advantage to be able to pursue new interests together but I’m not sure its healthy to rely solely on one person emotionally. But that’s just my two cents worth.