Daydream Believer

Unfortunately, there are frequently situations in my life that do not play out exactly as they have previously done so in my head. Other people don’t say what they are supposed to, act the way they should or want what I expect them to. More often than not, reality just doesn’t quite measure up to the movie in my mind. Or perhaps I should say - I daydream far too much.

Whenever there is something I’m confused or unsure about, I often run through scenes in my head to help me figure it out. If there’s something I want to say, I might write and rewrite the script till it sounds right. And if there’s something that I want, then I might imagine ways in which I might get it. Some people might say that those are the tools of self-motivation and positive reinforcement but others might just realise that I have a rather active fantasy life.

In addition to exploring scenarios that I have previously been in or anticipate finding myself in, I also tend to create ones that are somewhat unrelated to my life. So I would have to say that at present, I have had quite an extensive and varied dating history that is purely in my head (or only in my dreams). A few of my girlfriends and I have previously lamented the fact that guys just don’t behave like they do in books and movies. We do realise this is possibly an unrealistic expectation but if you’re going to have a fantasy, why not make it perfect?

So in my perfect world there are fireworks and butterflies galore. There’s laughter and fun and there’s sass and style. There is no feeling like a complete git cause you have no idea what to say. There are no raging insecurities where you agonise over what someone else thinks about you or feels for you. You don’t second guess your decision to be with someone, sure that any problems you might have with each other can be worked out and everything does always work out in the end. Just like you hoped it would.

So now with such a history, I guess I am waiting for a reality that will give my fantasies a good run for their money. I won’t say I want something to live up to them because at the end of the day I’m not sure I do want something exactly like what I’ve imagined (cause so far its been a bit two-dimensional really). It’d be nice to have something that holds surprises and challenges for me as well as new possibilities though. And a guarantee that it was all going to work out in the end wouldn’t go astray either.