What Will They Think Of Next?

It is widely acknowledged that communication is the key to a successful relationship. And what could be more convenient for maintaining that communication than a mobile phone, right? Over the past few years, it seems that mobiles have become an integral part of dating and relationships and due to our seeming reliance on this form of ever advancing technology, we have also seen the following innovations which I find hilarious.

For those of you who live in Australia, if you phone 0419 317 446, you will reach the Rejection Line. This number will lead you straight to a voicemail message where a cheery male voice will tell you “Hi. You’ve called the Rejection Line. The person who gave you this number never wants to see you again. We’d like to take this opportunity to officially reject you.”. The guy then goes on to say that you can leave a message or send an sms but when the spiel ends, a programmed message will tell you there is no more room for messages.

If you find yourself in need of an escape before you reach goodnight kiss territory or the need to actually give out your phone number however, there is another number you can call (which I can’t remember). By surreptitiously ringing this number and hanging up, you will prompt a phone call a few minutes later from someone who will guide you through a convincing conversation that will result in you having to leave. Immediately. Many people tend to use a variation of this where they ask a friend to call sometime during the night to check up on them or ring a friend from the bathroom and ask them to call back but not everyone has this option.

Sometimes it is the actual using of mobile phones that causes all the problems. When some of us get a bit drunk, we think it’s a great time to ring ex’s, partners, colleagues, bosses, enemies and other assorted people. It inevitably isn’t and this is where Virgin’s blacklist service could be of some use. Apparently, all a Virgin customer (no pun intended) has to do is dial 333 and then the requested number will be blacklisted till 6am the following morning. So no more dodgy, incoherent calls made in the wee small hours of the morning after half a bottle of tequila.

There are of course other innovations such as mobile dating, soon to be launched here in Oz by Match.com, “shag phones”, his-and-her pre-paid mobiles where only the owners know the numbers so they are safe to answer as lustily as they like and virtual text pals, available in dominatrix, bunny boiler or sex slave. By far the most cheeky however, is the VibraExciter. As I understand it, the signal from a mobile phone will trigger a vibrating bullet for 20 seconds when an sms is received and for the duration of a call and up to 25 seconds after it has disconnected. So aren’t you glad we have mobiles?