The Pussycat Needs A Profile

Stupidity doesn’t run in my family. It gallops. Or maybe its just contagious. You see, following my rather unsuccessful attempts to meet someone I could conceivably ‘see’ over the internet dating site RSVP, the Pussycat has now decided that she would also like to try out this phenomenon for herself. Lord knows why. Actually, I do have a fair idea but still. And stupidity is probably the wrong word here. After all, despite my assurances to myself that it was really not the best way for me to meet people last year, I then went back and tried it out a second time. You know, just to make sure. Predictably enough, more idiotic behaviour on my part followed and things didn’t work out this time either. The possibility just sucks you in though and hey, it really does work for some people.

As I have said before however, some other people really don’t have a clue. Some don’t seem to know the difference between ‘descriptive’ and ‘too much information’ and some probably say a lot of things they have no intention of saying. Like I am actually a complete tool with attachment issues. Or I have so much baggage I’d need a warehouse to store it all. But maybe I’m just losing my sense of ‘cute’? I don’t know. I see the tag line ‘Are you my next ex-girlfriend?’ and I think ‘are you advertising the fact that you are planning to dump someone or assume you will be dumped before you even go out?’. Saying something like ‘Guaranteed better than your ex’ would be far more pithy and effective in my opinion. Then again, sometimes the whole reverse psychology thing does work.

I once received a profile from someone who assured me he would forget my birthday, hog the remote, ditch me to hang out with the boys, ring me up whilst completely off his face, never discuss his feelings and well, you get the idea. The whole thing was actually written quite well though and ended up getting a laugh out of me as opposed to a smile. He definitely had the sense of humour thing covered but in the end wasn’t someone I could see myself with. It did give me a couple of ideas though. Which have sprung to mind now that the Pussycat has passed on her site ID* to me. In the interests of offering an opinion on people who have contacted her (not because she needs one mind you, just cause she’d like one), she has given me her ID with the stipulation that I don’t ‘ruin her profile’ and make her ‘sound like an axe murderer’. I figure that leaves things pretty wide open.

I have always been curious what kind of reaction you would get if you promised to always take longer than necessary to get ready, call at least once a day to ask ‘what are you doing’, constantly expect others to pay, only listen to Britney Spears in the car (even his), frequently ask for opinions or advice which are then ignored, make an issue out of never getting wet hair at the beach, refuse to watch anything that doesn’t fall under the ‘chick flick’ heading, complain about clothes/skin/hair/weight etc., get upset over insignificant things, issue unrealistic demands, change your mind constantly AND flirt with absolutely everyone. What do you reckon? Of course I would never actually alter her profile to anything she hadn’t already approved but I can enjoy the thought.

*Just so as you know, she does not call herself ‘Pussycat’.