You Bet Your Bottom Dollar

So once again Australia has celebrated that gambling time of year. Actually, to be honest, we really have two gambling times of the year. Some of us like to put money on the toss of a coin around ANZAC day which, lets face it, is far better odds than betting on horses. Bet on horses we do however, on the first Tuesday of November. Whether we’re old or young, filthy rich or not so, for some reason the Melbourne cup is a great excuse for all the men to dress up in their Sunday best, for all the women to deck themselves out in silly hats and for everyone in the nation to have a little (or a large) flutter. And I think that the way that you gamble could say a lot about the way you approach your life and therefore your relationships. I’m not sure exactly what that is though so I’m just going to speculate for the hell of it.

First of all, there are those of us who play the field a little bit. The ones who hedge their bets, do not put all their eggs in the one basket, keep their options open, cover their bases and all those other clichés that are vaguely annoying. These people rarely back horses to win but rather to place or even better to show. This kind of bet is for those less concerned with the prize than the fact that there is one. They just want to win something. Possibly like a wallflower who just wants to have a dance. And then of course there are those of us that want to win everything. These are the people who bet on the nose. They want to study the guide, watch the horses and be aware of how the weather will affect the track and the participants. These ‘betters’ are ambitious and aggressive (like a car salesman) or just plain full of faith and hope (like a bad car salesman). They dive in head first cause if their gamble does pay off, the dividends will be well worth the risk.

For those who need a bit more of a challenge, or a bit more of a return, there is the option of placing one bet on several horses. Naming the nags that will come first, second and third, and getting it right, is guaranteed to bring in the big bucks for a small outlay. Your chances of hitting the jackpot are I think rather small but you just never know and it may well be worth a shot. This is a bold gamble though and I tend to associate it with people who think they know everything. Now this is of course actually a load of bollocks. There are many reasons and amounts to bet just as there are many ways. Just because you enter sweeps or bet on several horses each way because you can’t decide which one you think will win does not mean you’re an indecisive tramp. I like to think of myself as the very occasional decided flirt*.

*and just to clarify something here, also because it came up in my office today, flirting does not necessarily mean coming onto someone, I see it more as the universal art of making people feel good about themselves.